Google is my best friend !!

As I learnt to live alone, in a new life , away from home, and friends I did not realise how time would slowly distant me away. I would walk into the house chattering away my day to my parents till dinner got over and would have still so much more to tell my friend over messages in the night or on my way to work early next morning.

When I moved to Bangalore a decade ago, my parents continued to call me as I enter my house and they would go through my exciting emotional confused and often pointless stories of the day , most of which was at work and some of it with friends. I have friends here , but I never thought that I could not meet them whenever I wanted , something that was so normal at one point of time. It was now more of weekend meetings and everyone, most of all me , was really busy with their own lives. Dinners , lunches , meeting for a drink or a coffee was more of a ritual to break from the everyday routine. I often would find myself at loss of words across a table. Often lost in thoughts I would think why am I even talking? but then I wanted everyone around me to keep talking..

I come home from work and often after dinner, calls, mails , some Watsapps Tv and messages spend time on google. So many questions that run through my mind on health, relationships, life, the poem I read in my first year or reading a critique of the play Look Back in Anger, some Bollywood gossip to who wore what at Cannes, the latest movie released to what is the fashion trend for haircuts this season, google has answers to everything I ask. It sometimes entertains me more than TV , unless the TV plays one of my fav series or movies. I don't hesitate to pick my phone and bug google through the night with multiple thoughts that are looking for answers , right up to tarot readings.

Of course google cannot be there when I fall sick like my friends are there to take care of me ...I know that..but it can cheer me up when am low... It jus tells me with quotes Never to give up, with stories of other people it tells me life happens, it's jus there ... there when I feel alone to give me company and give me something to get lost into.

At work it's my fireman. I feel empowered with a 10 min research on any subject. My work and its challenges evolve everyday. Google just has the right leads connecting me to insane web of information that jus gets me so excited, that I get lost in my research. But then leads me to some of the best insights.

Gosh! What would I do without you Google !!! You seem to be the Florence Nightingle for the millennial mindset searching for answers every minute. We all know as much we know, but you somehow connect us all, taking information from all and sharing it with all. It's fun googling at odd hours of night and when someone asks me anything I jus google :) makes me feel so cool !!!

Thank you for being a great friend !!!

Where wud i fly

If i were a bird
Where wud i fly

Into a home may be
To chirp a tired mum
Into a classroom may be
To wake up the sleepy bums
Into an office maybe
To break the mundane

If i were a bird
Where wud i fly
To see where history began
To see how future is made
To know there is a forest
Which never ends
To race against a waterfall
Or eat a fruit as it falls
Feel the wind on my face
And glide like a song in rain

If i were a bird
where wud i fly
Into my mums nest
Where there  is only love
And tears of joy

Love you can I?

Can i .... come to wake u up From a deep slumber into a beautiful morning, 

can i .....share with u a delightful breakfast as u prepare to sail for an exciting day , 

can i .... walk with u Listening to u like a silent diary as you unwind your days tire , 

Can i .... tuck you in ur bed to a wishful dream, preparing you for another day...

This is how i want to love you remember... So ..

can i... Love you forever...

Lost in time

Lost

Lost is my mind in the wilderness of time

For when did it pass 

 will it come

And what will it bring

Why is it taking

And is it really giving

Why is it all so puzzling 

What am i to solve and

What am i to wait for

Why this game 

when it belongs 

When it is 

Why is it not

it passes Like a river 

Dont know when it starts 

And when its lost

In the sea

Of time

Lost am i

I am lost.

Every day...one more day

...needs to be nourished,
needs to be cherished,
needs to be appreciated,
needs to be let free.

They need to be nurtured
with the sights
with the sounds
with the earnest desires

the shout within,
the calm without
the who it is now
the who it wants to be

and then it is freedom
when it is

every day ...one more day
to be there
to be aware

it is what it is!

10 days of meditation camp, 2 months of absolute non indulgence into stress (coz i chose to be jobless), 15 days of clearing misunderstandings, and as i thought i was nearing the "aha" am back to "uh-oh!"

All i feel is that the cosmic reality is only crap . there is no ABSOLUTE!
aiooooo……….

If it is what it it is, then why aren't we seeing it as it is?we are layered with signs, paths, signals, life cycles, karmic cycles, science,mythology, cosmic truth, masters etc..etc…etc… - why this kolavari God ? or must i say Mr. Absolute? cud'nt you just design a simplified cosmos.

Mr.God- cud u jus fast forward this part of my life? for me its not a wee bit exciting i must say.

right - wrong- wrong - right  -
up and down and there you slide,
into your dreams  deep you go and
c'mon lets see how far you go !!

Aah! there you are here again,
its the circle of life time and again.


Mr.God - totally jobless you are !!!! and you are doing a bad job of ur joblessness. hmmmph!!!

Right now i jus want to erase all you have written … i wish it was as easy as buying a new book and re-writing your life.

For today, this is what it is 

i read, it stayed, slowly...understood

We are not human beings undergoing a spiritual experience,
We are Spiritual beings undergoing a human experience