Its quite an unsettling feeling. May be writing it will help ease me a bit. feel time is just fleeting away and am not able to capture anything. I am still waiting, waiting for the same things as I ever was. Will I always be waiting, I don’t want to. I close my eyes I see, like in movies, the whole world running past me, whereas I am still there. Sometimes my mind rushes ahead of me and all I want is to tell it to stop. Its life that I am scared of wasting may be, may be not making enough mistakes, mistakes that would teach, teach to live free, free from fear , fear of the unknown, unknown what is it?
I don’t want the illusion of happiness, which I am scared am sinking into, illusion of higher state of life or illusion of achievements. Its not just the vastness but the deepness am not aware of. I am missing some essence of life and there is more that I seek. My mind is not ready to accept and my heart does not feel the freedom. How do I get connected, connected to the search, search to be one, one with one and all, to feel the freedom and to follow my heart.
4 comments:
Makes a good read. Doesn't delve into forcible attempts to impress others. You do follow your heart gurl. Hope it paves way to the path you wish to tred upon and doesn't sink into the oblivion of miniscule, materialistic and mortal achievements. Luck sis.
Well. you are not alone! This feeling of head being so cluttered and busy.. but going blank when asked -'What's on your mind?' .. is so frustrating! But its good to enjoy this suspense of life.. not knowing what's next and just living for the day..
Very true! But if you still think it's illusion, then there's still a bit of settling left.
The statement of truth does not change by the number of people following it.
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